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PROFILE
| J | Juicy | | O | Outrageous | | A | Appreciative | | N | Naive | | N | Nerdy | | A | Arty |
Today's Moodswing:
+ T.A.G.S +
+I am... Who I am+To put these thoughts in words, Is my only option; Thoughts of the absurd, In this mind's transgression. I am who I am, Living through reality
and beyond; I am but a sham, Read my life
through this bond. -J.B.B. de Leon
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Sunday, May 01, 2005
On the spot text message!
+ Regrets of You +
I regret knowing you,
I regret being with you,
I regret ever thinking of you,
And most of all,
I regret falling in love with you.
But I know I'll regret it more
If I lived not doing so.
-J.B.B. de Leon
11-04-05 03:48
scribbled at 5/1/2005 10:51:11 pm by + Evanescent+
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Thursday, March 17, 2005
She was speeding through the silent night. Her mind set on what better excuse to give the awaiting scolds. When out of the blue something whispers through the blurring trees...
"Nada..."
She stopped dead in her tracks and felt all her senses feeling for the source of the voice. It sounded so familiar. Her heart was still racing in her ribs. She closed her eyes to take a deep breath and opened to see him smiling down at her.
"I knew you'd come," he kept the smile on.
She didn't feel fear, she didn't feel tense, infact, her heart was eased. She smiled back at him.
"How did you know my name?" she wondered.
He responded in a wider smile.
They stared into eachother's eyes for a moment when Nada said, "I'm late."
"Oh... I'm sorry," he appologized, "but do you mind if I accompany you back?" He gestured towards the dark trees and out of it came a magnificient black stallion.
"It's beautiful," she said seeing the creature.
It's long mane blown by the cold breeze giving away its grand posture. It advanced boldly towards her but humbly took a low bow for her to mount.
She smiled in appreciation.
She found it strange riding infront of him while they held the reins together.
"I want you to know what it's like being in charge," he explained through the hungry gallops of the stallion.
She understood and gave a cheerful laugh. Time felt meaningless while being in his arms. She could feel his body heat against her back. It was like flying through the empty night with nothing but unexplainable joy only caused by him. And only because of him.
She had no care of the world beyond that moment when she felt free and somehow... loved.
Then it stopped. She heard the noises. She felt the time. And she felt the real world coming back again.
"Had fun?" he asked. His voice gave her tingles inside.
"Yeah," she nodded her head slightly turned back towards him. She held the gaze a bit longer but as she turned to face away he wrapped his strong arms arround her waist and gave a deep sigh.
She opened her mouth to say something but couldn't.
Time didn't seem to belong anymore. But she knew it had to. And because of that it did.
"I'm sorry, I just... missed you," he said after releasing her.
After landing on the ground she looked up and felt so small. Being mounted on the stallion made his tall figure even taller. Her thoughts of how he, a young man of good looks and what seemed to be an respectful standing, could care as much for an ordinary girl.
But confusion was erased by his assuring smile that made her feel deserving and desirable. For once she felt beautiful.
"Thank you," she said to him.
"I'll see you soon." He said it without a trace of doubt.
'Yes,' something answered in her mind as she made her way towards the entrance hall. 'Yes... soon.'
scribbled at 3/17/2005 3:06:53 am by + Evanescent+
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Sunday, March 06, 2005
There she was standing in the middle of the crooked path of dry leaves fallen from the tall forest trees. She had stopped for the third time but this time not to rest but to better feel the breeze that suddenly caught her by surprise.
It wasn't unusual for the kind of breeze to blow from the west, but still... there was that longing brought along with it... her longing. Freedom.
Spinning in circles with her arms wide spread, the world seemed a fantasy and her fantasies the world of reality.
She fell on her back against the thick dusty dry leaves and didn't hurt a bit. When her vision stopped spinning, she laid there for a moment observing the coming fall. The black sparrows on the long branches of the familiar trees. The same trees she went to for assurance in times of trouble.
But this time wasn't a time of trouble, she just felt for peace and serenity and this was the place for it. She felt at home here and she felt him more here...
She heared the leaves crushed by the weight of his feet. Closer... closer... it gets louder. Until he reached her. She's aware of him staring down at her. She felt a little awkward with her arms spread at her sides. But remained still.
'Why is he just standing there?' She was beginning to get impatient.
Then he took another step closer, she heared him bend over and can actually smell his masculine perfume... *sigh*
His breath was so arousing she found it hard not to open her eyes. Nothing seemed to be happening. When she finally decided to get a glimpse, she was suddenly freaked by the strong chill of the air.
Her arms automatically braced her body and her eyes shot open, but he wasn't there... there was nothing there but the moonlight on the trees.
Her hopes crashed when she realized it was all a dream.
'Ofcourse it's a dream,' she argued herself 'he's just a dream.' But something inside her still believed otherwise.
She wondered how time flew when it felt like seconds from whence she had closed her eyes.
"Damn! I forgot the feast!" with that she rushed back to the noise made by the people of Maurrel.
scribbled at 3/6/2005 5:00:31 pm by + Evanescent+
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Sunday, June 20, 2004
Assignment: 'My Preliminary Want'
Here's my assignment for ENG101... the prof. (Ms. Ramos) was a bit bitchy and made me give a bad impression of myself! (When I came in late and when I had to introduce myself) I'm not gonna talk more about it 'coz nothing's worth reading helpless entries that keeps repeating 'I want to kill that bitch!' Anyways, she's not all that bad. She gave us good advice: 'Everytime you wake up is a beautiful day. When you look in the mirror, don't think you're too sleepy, think possitive. Say you're beautiful! You're sexy! Love yourself, love others.' And all that shit. But I never think to try it, I still know the truth of everything. And that truth is tatooed on my mind. I wish I could just simply believe and be happy, but I can't; the fucks of life.
Anyhows, here's my assignment:
My Preliminary Want
If I could I would start my life all over again. But I ask myself, 'Is that what I really want?' There's a chance to re-do the mistakes i made in the past, but somehow I know that even if it was possible, I wouldn't take the chance, because it is those mistakes and experiences that pushes me on toward my future.
I try to imagine what I want my future life to be. Just a typical grownup with a life of her own; who doesn't rely on anyone else to make her walk and point her direction through the paths of life. Right now, in the present, I want nothing else but to have that future. My first step of self-independence; College. No matter how much I hate it, I still have to go through it. I learned over the years: to get over something, you have to love it; I might as well enjoy it. So I try; to be wherever this course; Psychology, will lead me.
As I go through this path, I wish to find someone special and worthy enough to share my life with. If not soon, but someday...
Done! Pretty short? Well she said half a yellow pad! Anyways, I can't wait to see what I get. I'm pretty proud 'coz I did it in english! duh!
scribbled at 6/20/2004 3:27:08 am by + Evanescent+
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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
The Greatest Pain in Life
The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.
To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.
To have someone you care about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.
When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.
To have people think that you don't care.
The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.
To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.
To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".
When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.
For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.
When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.
Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?
Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?
Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.
Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.
If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.
You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.
This poem was written by a young girl who committed suicide some years ago.
Please show someone you care for them today. It takes so little of your time to smile, give a hug, a word of encouragement or just to say "I care" You will be rewarded for sure:-)
scribbled at 6/9/2004 2:26:29 am by + Evanescent+
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